Realities and Resilience
Inspiration for the Journey Ahead
When I launched this Substack, my goal was simple: to share honest, heartfelt stories about navigating caregiving and parenting during cancer treatments, exploring the nuances of widowhood, and raising children as a solo parent. Each article has aimed to shed light on the realities of these experiences while hopefully offering support and inspiration to those walking a similar path and for those supporting them.
One of the most read and liked articles is Alone in the Shadows which highlights the importance of connection, companionship, and social interaction for caregivers. A caregiver’s suffering in the absence of social connections can make the situation seem that much more insurmountable. Social isolation can increase the risk of depression and depending on the duration and intensity, contribute to cognitive decline. It can also lead to chronic stress causing a cascade of hormonal changes resulting in sleep disturbances, weight gain or weight loss, and long-term ill health for the caregiver, patient, or family member feeling isolated.
The interest shown for Alone in the Shadows inspired me to dig deeper into the impact of isolation and chronic stress on a caregiver’s health. In the article, Fueling Resilience, I wrote about the link between chronic stress, cortisol, and health risks, and the impact on caregiver well-being. In future articles, I plan to explore the link between caregiver stress, cortisol levels, and the decline in GLP-1—the hormone now targeted by the latest weight loss medications.
To my surprise, Under Pressure, was the other most read article. It shares a story of the time I gave an important presentation six states away while my late husband was under medical supervision during a bone marrow transplant. The difficult decision and added stress of trying to stay in the game with a career while caring for an ill spouse and young children is the epitome of “A Full Plate,” knowing that one day I would need to provide for my kids. It’s like trying to keep three spinning plates balanced on separate poles, just as one steadies, another starts to wobble. The constant juggling act of meeting each family member’s needs, while continuously shifting focus and energy to keep everything running smoothly, is both physically and emotionally exhausting, gradually wearing down even the most resilient caregivers. If caregiving demands persist long enough, one plate will inevitably need to be set aside to prevent them all from crashing down. For many women in family caregiving roles, it’s often their careers that are put on hold - a decision that can have long-term consequences, including limiting their future financial well-being and retirement security. But this isn't where the story ends. I’m planning to share strategies for managing this transition, protecting a professional future, and finding ways to stay connected to a career even during intensive caregiving.
In the article, Helping Children Cope with a Parent’s Cancer, I share some tips and strategies for supporting children emotionally, fostering open communication, and creating a sense of stability during an incredibly challenging time. This is the article that is nearest to my heart. Each situation, like each family and each cancer diagnosis, has its own unique subtleties. Being open and honest with children in an age-appropriate way, encouraging emotional connections, and creating a sense of normalcy are some ways to help support children through their parent’s cancer. At times, I encountered resistance regarding how we chose to raise our children during such a prolonged and challenging period. In hindsight, I’m grateful for that pushback, as it brought to light the misconceptions and gaps in understanding about the experiences and support young families need when a parent is dealing with cancer. Future articles will focus on effective communication with children about illness, strategies for fostering resilience, and resources for emotional support. My hope is that what I share will help educators, coaches, and health practitioners in supporting a child whose parent is ill or dying.
The article, Beyond the Cure, focuses on embracing healing during cancer. The article is my youngest son’s favorite. After reading it, he pushed his chair back and said, “This is my favorite article, Mom!” His father, my late husband, was Muslim, and I was raised Catholic. There is more I plan to share focusing on the differences in health beliefs across cultures and the importance for healthcare practitioners to understand the dynamics of diverse cultures coming together, and how these differences influence caregiving, illness, healing, and perceptions.
Cancer, caregiving, and parenting are often taboo or under-discussed topics. This space will continue to evolve, exploring topics that matter deeply to me and, I hope, to you as well. In the months ahead, you can expect articles on navigating the healthcare system as a cancer patient and caregiver, coping with grief while parenting and helping children through their own, and advocating for resources that better support families in the throes of living with cancer. I’ll also be diving into more practical topics, such as self-care tips for caregivers and patients, latest on nutrition and cancer, and tools for balancing work and family life.
If there’s a topic you’d like to see covered or a story you’d like to share, I’d love to hear from you. This Substack is as much about community as it is about storytelling, and your insights make it richer.